Implementing these Golden Rules for your marriage will require effort, commitment, and devotion from both of you. It will require effort setting up and maintaining these Golden Rules; however, if both couples are willing to make the marriage work, then it is possible. Sometimes it’s the most basic advice that can help us identify what is going wrong in our marriage.
How To Keep Your Marriage Healthy With These 14 Golden Rules
Golden Rule 1 – Be Honest
Honesty is one of the main ingredients to have in a loving and sound marriage, but you have to be honest with yourself first. You need to be honest with yourself when you feel things are not going well and working on identifying how and when the issue first arose and why.
If you fool yourself by saying that everything is working out fine when it is not, then you will only find yourself being frustrated when things are getting worse.
The sooner you admit there is a problem, the sooner you can work them out and move on with your lives. As soon as you accept and admit to yourself that something is wrong in the marital relationship, then half of the work is done, so don’t be afraid.
Be honest if you think your spouse is doing something that’s hurting you or the relationship. Do not try to ignore these feelings. These feelings, like wounds, will continue to fester until one day they will become like an infectious disease that will spread and become difficult to stop.
Golden Rule 2 – Communicate Effectively
Communication is very essential in all relationships. Learn to communicate effectively. If you have something to say to your spouse, sit down and talk it out.
Constant nagging and arguing solves nothing, nor do displays of passive aggressive behavior. These types of behavior only make things worse and eventually hurting you both in the end.
Too often relationships degenerate into accusations and fighting as the default method of interaction. Can you honestly hope for things to last if that’s how you both behave?
Effective communication doesn’t just require the both of you talking. Both of you need to be effective listeners too. When you listen with an open mind, this will create a more meaningful conversation and can increase the effectiveness of your communication with your spouse.
Never assume that your spouse knows what you are thinking or feeling. Tell your partner what is going and simply listen to their feedback. Effective communication is a skill that may require practice, so learn to really hear your spouse.
To master this powerful skill and have a loving and healthy marriage, check out this book of Gary Chapman – Now You’re Speaking My Language: Honest Communication and Deeper Intimacy for a Stronger Marriage
Golden Rule 3 – Learn to Negotiate Disagreement
Disagreement is a normal part of any relationship. Sometimes, it can be physically unsafe when things are becoming very intense and emotional. To work things out with your relationship issues, start with understanding what the problems are and how to talk about them.
There are many resources available today to help you and your partner learn how to deal with your conflicts effectively. Using these resources can you help you a lot in maintaining the safety and health of your marriage.
A personal favorite book of mine is The Relationship Cure by John Gottman: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships , which talks about maintaining the health of marriage and relationships.
Golden Rule 4 – Do Not Try To Change Your Spouse
Accept your spouse and understand that you cannot fix the issues in your marriage solely by fixing your spouse’s attitude. A marriage is about two people joined together as a team. Changing and adapting takes teamwork in a marriage.
It is always much better to sit and talk it out and work on how you can both make things better for each other. Also, it’s a lot easier this way, as each of you will usually only need to make small adjustments to keep the other happy and eventually both of you will end up being happy as a married couple.
Golden Rule 5 – Respect Each Other at All Times
Love is not enough in marriage or any relationship. If you don’t respect your partner, it can damage the health of your marriage. Treat your partner as you would like to be treated and this will further strengthen the bond and health of your marriage.
Golden Rule 6 – Learn About Yourself
Learn and work on self-development and discovery first. Many couples enter into relationships without knowing and loving enough about themselves. As a result, they can have a difficult time learning about their partner as well.
Learning and discovering about yourself will help you grow as an individual and as a partner. No matter how long you have been together, there are always more things you can learn about your spouse. Learning is a continuous process.
Learn about your spouse every day.
What are his or her visions and dreams for the future? What are his or her worst fears in life? If you commit to discovering new things about each other, you can have a strong bond and marriage for a lifetime.
Golden Rule 7 – Learn the difference between being in love and falling in love
Being in love is easy, but keep falling in love with your spouse is something that you have to work on continuously. When you fall in love, the person can do no wrong and people are able to behave in ways that their partner may not necessarily agree with in a normal state of mind.
That’s why it can take work to stay in love-the love is still there, but you can’t expect to act however you please.
Love is like a fire, it needs a constant source of fuel to keep burning.
Golden Rule 8 – Explore Marital Intimacy
Bring your marital relationship and intimacy to the next level. Exploring your marital intimacy can bring your relationship to a whole new level of happiness and closeness.
It is important to remember that intimacy does not always have to be related to solely sex in the marriage. Most of the time, it is forgotten the emotional type as an aspect of intimacy. One of the examples of emotional intimacy is giving a safe space for your spouse to share his or her emotions without doubts or fear of judgement.
Golden Rule 9 – Grow a Spiritual Connection
When couples share some form of spiritual connection, it can bring them closer together and strengthen their bond. There are many ways to create a spiritual connection together.
It can be going to church together, going to a peaceful place to meditate together or just by simply spending time together in nature and have a deep and meaningful conversation.
Golden Rule 10 – Learn to Forgive
It is normal that sometimes we may hurt or upset our partner. No one is perfect. Forgiveness is an important virtue in a marriage. When you make a mistake, apologize and fix the problem. This will aid in the process of forgiveness and improve the health of your marriage.
Golden Rule 11 – Always Look for the Best in Each Other
Overt time, periods of our marriage may feel like they have stagnated, and we soon forgot how we fell in love with our spouses in the first place. For example, he may have been really good at making you laugh, but now you think he’s just boring.
To rekindle the love and reignite that passion that there, try creating a list of all the things you love about your partner.
Golden Rule 12 – Plan a Date Night
Spend time with each other. Married couples who spend time with each other grow stronger and maintain the health of their marriage. Plan a date night or weekend excursion together.
When you spend time with your spouse, you will better understand your differences and it will give both of you the chance to have a deep and intimate conversation.
Golden Rule 13 – Explore Common Interests
Married couples grow stronger when they share similar interests. That does not mean each other will have fun with every activity you both do together, but it gives the opportunity for better sharing and compromise.
Doing things separately is never a bad idea, but exploring your common interests are important to a healthy and long lasting marriage. For example, if you both like watching an action movie or going for a nature walk, then make it a point to do this together.
The goal is to do something with your spouse that you both can enjoy.
Golden Rule 14 – Understand the principles of marriage karma
You get what you give, so if you go the extra yard for your partner and prove yourself to be kind, caring, and considerate, the chances are they will act a lot more like that toward you too.
Remember the GOLDEN RULES to keep your marriage healthy and this beautiful bible verse.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” – Matthew 7-12
So there you have it! These are my 14 Golden Rules for developing a healthy on long lasting marriage. Hopefully this advice will provide a good framework for building a healthy marriage for you and your partner.
If you’re interested in more topics similar to what I discussed, check out the link below for more great information on ways to improve your marriage.
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