Are you your partner’s girlfriend, fiancé or wife?  When you find your partner cheating on you, it can be painfully devastating. 

Are you currently involved in an intimate relationship with someone?  If you are, has your relationship just begin or have you both been together for a while.   

When you catch him cheating, it’s best to know how to adapt and overcome this situation, by mentally preparing yourself so you don’t overreact and do something you may regret for a long time. 

Below are my tips on how to approach this situation when you catch your partner cheating.


Think carefully on what the situation is.  Catching a partner cheating may result in committing an impulsive action.  It is expected, but it can be harmful.  As for what you should do, please continue reading.

If you catch him in the act, for example they are kissing or having sex, then leave the room. Confirming an affair is one thing, but staying in the room to confront the situation is not advisable.  

Try your best to calm down and take a deep breath and leave the room immediately. This will give you the time to think about what you saw and what your actions should be.

It is expected to feel so much pain and devastation once you have confirmed that your partner is actually cheating on you. You may want to scream, confront them, or vandalize their personal belongings.  

Some people feel better when they let their emotions do the talking.  In my opinion, that’s a personal choice.  However, for your safety and the safety of others, I believe it’s best to calm down, take a deep breath, and think what the next logical step to take.  

I know it’s easier said than done; however, if you let your anger give in, then you may end up saying or doing things that you may regret in the future.

Here are some helpful tips to avoid letting your anger get the best of you.

  • Take a shower and cry as much as you need
  • Immediately drink water
  • Allow yourself to take a deep breath

After you have regained control of your posture, then proceed with the tips below.

Talk to him

So when you are already calmed down, this is the time to talk to him and ask questions.  I know this is easier said than done, but try to listen with an open mind as he shares information, because this is essential when you finally make that important decision to either forgive or forget.

Make sure that before deciding to talk to him, you are ready and have thought out questions to ask.  If you are unable to decide about ending the relationship, do not decide right away. Instead, ask your partner for some time apart.  

This will give you more time to think about the relationship and finally decide what is best for you.  Remember, if he cheated on you, then that trust has been severely fractured and you have every right to wonder if that person will commit the act again. 

Only you can decide what is best for you. Your worth it and don’t ever let anybody tell you differently.

Allow yourself some time

Give yourself permission to grieve and heal.  Unlike a physical wound, you can’t bandage up an emotional wound.  This will not be easy and it takes a long process to heal. 

For some it is quick for them to move on, but for some people it might be difficult.  So if it’s difficult for you, give yourself more time to move on and mend the broken pieces of your heart. 

Remember to be patient along the process, and do not allow anyone or even your cheating partner to pressure you to get it done.  If they are serious about fixing the damage they created, then they will give you the space you need.  You have to learn to love yourself and decide what is best the decision to make.

Time to make a decision

When you already calmed down and healed, then this is the time to make a

final decision about the future of your relationship with your partner.  If you are considering working it out, make sure that your partner is also willing to work things out with you.  

However, if you don’t see any effort from him, then move on with your life.  It takes two to make the relationship work.  Ask him why did they do it in the first place? 

Is he not happy with where the direction of the relationship is heading or has been heading?  What actions led him to commit this act?  If he can’t give you a clear answer, then maybe it’s time to move on with your life.


Like I said, it’s easier said than done, but as you continue on with the healing process, you will find happiness and peace once you have learned to forgive this person who brought so much pain into your life.  

I was once in a situation where I felt so devastated and so broken, that I didn’t know what to do anymore or how to ease the anger and pain. However, I made the decision for myself to forgive, forget, and move on with my life.

Some people might not agree about how to forgive someone who cheated on them and caused them so much pain.  Some might think it is spoiling the bad behavior of that person, but I believe that is not true. 

In my opinion, forgiveness is allowing yourself to feel better and receive the peace that you deserve.  You don’t really need to keep in touch with that person to forgive him. You do it by yourself and you feel that forgiveness inside you.

This is the time to get you life’s priorities in line. Start loving yourself more and do the things that make you happy in life.  The past is the past.  You didn’t fail at the relationship, they did. They failed you and they failed themselves.    

Take this valuable life lesson you have learned, and arm yourself with this knowledge to make your next relationship work.

Remember to focus on your future, love yourself more, be strong, and believe that you are worthy of love, respect, loyalty and happiness! Once you learned to take care of yourself and love yourself, the right partner will attract naturally for you.  

>>Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life<<

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Author: Rosanna Lundberg

I am passionate about helping women design their dream LIFE one goal at a time and manifest their dream LOVE one date at a time.

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