Should I sleep with someone on the first date?
This is a question that men generally do not ask themselves. However, many women ask it regularly.
So if you are a woman, should you postpone this moment or take advantage of the present moment ?
This is the subject of this article.
A HISTORY OF MANNERS
I assume that if you ask yourself the question the first evening, you are in the perspective of a serious relationship.
I therefore exclude, in this article, all that relates to brief short-term relationships.
Regarding the first night, men are luckier than women. Men can sleep the first evening without being perceived negatively. Unfortunately, this is not the case in reverse.
A woman who sleeps the first evening remains a situation still badly perceived by some men today who assimilate this act in a negative way.
And know that they will not necessarily tell you since this perception is sometimes unconscious.
If you are looking for a serious story, you should just be aware of it.
SHOW THAT YOU ARE NOT AN EASY GIRL
In fact, showing that you are not an easy girl is more than just the timing of the first night.
You can sleep the first night without being seen as an easy girl. Everything is a story of behavior, context and feeling that will make your image with the man with whom you will sleep with.
But if you absolutely want to avoid being mistaken for an easy girl, the best proof remains not to act on the first evening and get to know more to show that you are looking for something more than one night. It’s your choice.
Or you might also feel that if a man you sleep with the first night considers you an easy girl, then you have nothing to do with him.
You naturally filter men to keep only those who have the same open-mindedness as you or those who match you the most.
WHAT IF WE WAITED A BIT BEFORE DOING IT?
As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have a bad opinion of a woman who sleeps the first night. Why could a man do it and not a woman?
On the other hand, if I am particularly interested in a man and I intend to have a serious relationship with him. I can very well wait one, two or three weeks before doing so. This is not what will question my interest in him.
First of all because if I want to spend a part of my life with someone, I can wait a while to sleep with them. Then because it allows to raise the desire, to know a little better, and to continue this game of seduction until the first night.
The majority of female friends to whom I have spoken have the same vision: they can wait and prefer a refusal to sleep with the man during the first evening!
THE FIRST AND LAST NIGHT
The first (and last) night …
But sometimes we wait for several days or weeks before sleeping together for the first time. And despite that, the story ends quickly after the first night.
If this has happened to you before, there are several possible reasons.
THE FIRST REASON
The first reason is that the man, despite his interest in you, may have been disappointed from the first night and feel that you are not compatible with him. This can also happen in the opposite direction, that is, the woman is disappointed and prefers not to prolong the relationship.
THE SECOND REASON
The second reason is that he manipulated you. He let you think he was interested in putting you in bed and he was ready to wait several weeks for this to happen.
Once he has had what he wanted, he will find an excuse to break the relationship. They are generally men with a seductive profile who like to connect relationships. It is their experience and their confidence that make their success.
Of course, someone who is in bad faith and knows how to manipulate will always get what they want, the first evening or two weeks after. So you can make someone wait and get thrown out after the first night. You don’t have to take it for yourself. It is not related to you, it is related to the other.
You can be manipulated by a potential partner. Realize it and accept it. It takes time to get to know someone. And when you sleep the first night, you usually don’t have time to get to know each other well.
Of course, manipulative or not, if the first sensual night was a failure, you will usually not be told. Fortunately, it would hurt you. And unfortunately because you will not understand the real reason for the failure of the relationship.
We come back to the matter of truth in relationships. Should we tell the truth or not in this type of case?
FEELING AND LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
Context, feeling and love at first sight..
There are also meetings that don’t let us think. Sometimes the context and the feeling of a meeting lend themselves to sleeping the first evening. It’s natural, you have to go, don’t put off until tomorrow.
There is an osmosis, an alchemy and we feel that we should not think and let ourselves be carried by the present moment.
In this case, it’s easy, we don’t ask ourselves questions. Carpe Diem .
But in this case, you also have to be honest with yourself. Some people want to sleep the first night without assuming the uncertainty of tomorrow. That is, they complain that the other does not want to continue after the first night.
When you sleep with a partner, man or woman, whom you hardly know, you have to accept the possibility that there will be no story after this night. This is the risk to take. If you are unable to cope, do not sleep the first night.
HE INSISTS AND PUT PRESSURE ON YOU
Sometimes you don’t really want to do it the first evening but the man (or the woman…) insists. It is generally the man who insists on the woman but I know women who were motivated to do so and not the man.
My opinion is that if the man puts too much pressure on you when you don’t really know if you want to, don’t do it. You have to know how to follow your instinct and your desire rather than the envy of the other. This is to take pleasure in and be truly satisfied with this sensual experience.
I also know women who sleep the first night for fear that the man will be disappointed that she does not sleep and that he will not want to continue the relationship if they keep him waiting.
My advice remains the same: sleep with desire and pleasure. Not out of fear. Never make decisions in your life out of fear …
If you don’t feel it, don’t do it. Listen to your desires.
CONCLUSION: SHOULD YOU SLEEP THE FIRST NIGHT?
In conclusion, there is no standard answer. It all depends on the circumstances, your feeling and your short or long term desires. The important thing is not to let yourself be influenced by the other, to want to and to assume your choice.
Here is a summary to help you make your decision.
Sleep with him the first night if:
- you really want to
- you feel it’s the right time
- you think it won’t hurt your relationship
Do not sleep the first night if:
- you don’t feel it
- you don’t really want it
- you want to get to know a little bit more before you do
- you want to raise the desire
As far as I am concerned, I appreciated both situations. Sleeping the first night in a strong burst of immediate desire with someone I had just met that evening. And the fact of waiting three weeks before sleeping with a desire that had gradually increased to lead to a magnificent night so much desired.
And you? Man or woman, what is your opinion on this subject? Do not hesitate to give your opinion by leaving a comment below. Thank you.
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