Forgetting an emotionally immature man is difficult; especially when this emotionally immature man keeps bothering you and keeps coming back to you. Let’s be honest, when we start a new relationship, we hope it lasts.
We always hope it is the right one and that it shows us that love is worth fighting for. But finally, he shows us that he is just one more asshole which we fell desperately in love with.
How do you move on after that?
You know he’s not the right one, you know he got you over and over but what hurts you the most every time you think of him. You remember how wonderful he was when you met, you still feel the taste of his lips on yours and still hope he comes back.
But the problem is, emotionally immature men have to make this decision for them. No one can force them to change and grow. No one can change them, except them. And that’s why it’s toxic to be in a relationship with an emotionally immature man.
So what to do now?
How do we forget such a relationship when we have the impression of being the only one to love, of having spent all this time screaming in front of a wall without anything happening?
You even tell yourself that this wall feels more things than your ex.
How can we forget a relationship for which we gave the best and received in return only pain and frustration?
We will answer you in several stages.
First, we need to know what he intends to do. Will he play the victim, make you jealous, wiggle the knife in the wound or do it all at the same time?
It is therefore important to know how to react. Spoiler alert: this implies the zero contact rule.
Here are 5 things that emotionally immature men do after a breakup:
1. They play the victims
He will tell the story everywhere that you are the bad one and where he did nothing except love you as well as he could. He will tell this story to anyone who wants to hear it.
Poor boy, he had done nothing wrong and you ended your relationship without warning. He does this simply to maintain his reputation. In this case, he has no intention of recovering you but rather tries to make you crack until you confirm his version of the facts.
The best thing to do here is to ignore everything. You and your friends know the truth and that’s all that matters. You know you have done your best but nothing has happened. You know you tried but refused to do the same.
So don’t give him the pleasure of winning again. Ignore his lies and let other poor girls find out the truth the hard way. Anyway, even if you tell them, they won’t believe you: he is so good at this little game.
2. He will press where it hurts by trying to make you jealous
He will strut around with his new girlfriend in front of you, until you go crazy and when you write to him asking questions, he will calmly remind you that your relationship is over. You have nothing to say to yourself, you have moved on, just like him. It will force you to question yourself about what is true and what is not.
Let me tell you that happy, mature men don’t gut their exes. They don’t play games by parading everywhere, accompanied by their new toy. And you know that is exactly what it is doing.
Let go and let him play whatever he wants. Either way, you’re much better off without him. Embrace your single life and this new opportunity that life offers you.
For him, moving to the next pair of breasts to boost his ego is nothing more than a need. See, if he can’t quickly find someone to boost his ego, he will have to face the hell you plunged him into and really think about his actions. And it’s something he’s not used to. So it bounces.
If he also plays the game of jealousy, you have a winner! An emotionally immature man who could even shame Barney Stinson. Enjoy your luck, in a way, you have just lightened your weight.
This does not mean that it is less painful but rather that life has given you lemons (quite acidic) and that you can now make them a sour whiskey.
Warning: alcohol is not the solution but it is clear that it is still a way to solve some of the mysteries of life. Or create new ones. In any case, it’s rather fun!
4. Improved friendships
You know what he hopes by asking you to stay friends. We all want to have the benefits of a relationship but without commitment. But sweetie, you deserve more than that. You deserve much more than being someone’s back-up plan or safety net. And you deserve more than being his buttocks.
Obviously, it’s up to you. If you are able to be friends with him, with the said benefits, go for it. We are all different and do not have to go through the same stages to heal. Perhaps you need to stay close enough to him to remind yourself every day that you are much better off without him.
Or maybe you need it to disappear from the face of the earth. But whatever you do, remember to put your needs and your yourself first. You too deserve to be happy.
5. Make it interesting
He disappears from radars and suddenly reappears and goes around the world, setting up a business and instagramming everything. Finally, if social networks were not his thing before, we wonder where this new passion comes from. I think you already know the answer.
The reason is: he wants to show you that he is better than you. Maybe what he did to you and hurt you affected his ego and shook his world, but don’t worry – he’s back in the game.
He needs to be the best, to have the most beautiful girls by his side, the best car and to shake it all before your eyes. It is his way of telling you that he has moved on and that there is no way you can get back together.
What is the solution to this?
The zero contact rule.
Block him on social media, erase photos of him on your phone and do your best to ignore it. Remember to remind yourself every day that you are wonderful and worthy and are the most fierce human being. You cross oceans of sadness and conquer hell. There is nothing beside that.
Remember that an emotionally immature man will never come back crawling towards you. He is a master of manipulation and he will make you come back to him, with his games of jealousy, making him interesting, bouncing around and remaining friends with you.
The idea is that you only see the best in him and that you miss him terribly. And the worst part of it all? Is that it works. When you are in love, you do not have clear ideas. And he knows it.
Here are 5 things to do when an emotionally immature man keeps bothering you:
1. Tell him it’s over and show him.
Whenever he calls you, show him that you’re not there for him. Whenever he wants to make you jealous, show him that you don’t care.
Pretend that it no longer exists and when it is necessary to recognize its existence, give it a smile worthy of the Cannes Film Festival. Make sure you are out of reach for her toxic games and love.
2. Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.
Nothing is your fault. His inability to commit and to remain loyal has nothing to do with you. You did your best, you worked hard to make this relationship work. But sometimes there is nothing to do. Because to love, you have to be two and you were the only one to love.
And each time he comes back to you, asking you for a second chance or driving you mad with his mental manipulations, remember that you are better than that. Remember that this immature moron is not worth your time.
3. Think of the negative and forget the fake good things.
I went through the same thing as you. Constantly thinking about the good times we shared and the times when he made me feel like the most wonderful woman in the world.
As if I was the only one in his eyes and that the world was at our feet. But the truth is, I never was. I was always alone and we never had a future to share. And it was only when I managed to understand the true nature of our relationship that I was able to move on.
If you are sure that you no longer want him in your life, focus on the negative. Concentrate on all the times you have stayed in front of a black screen, waiting for its message. Focus on all the times he has taken you by boat, the times he has promised you the world and has given you nothing. See him as he is, certainly not the person he claimed to be.
4. Apply the zero contact rule.
When one is involved in a relationship with an emotionally immature man, one finds oneself in a role. At the beginning, we don’t know who he is and we give him everything, because that’s how we like it.
But later, after seeing it as it was, it is extremely important to change roles. Forget it and don’t run towards it as soon as it calls. I understand, you still love him and you want to help him but you have to help yourself first!
And that’s exactly why the zero contact rule is essential so that you can move forward. It’s the only way to make it clear to him that you’ve moved on and that you don’t care about his little games and manipulations. It is time he found another victim because you are no longer one.
5. Become the woman of high-value.
This wonderful and ferocious woman who does not let anyone take away her value. This woman who stands out, whatever life imposes on her. This woman who has all the cards in her hand and knows how to play them.
Guess what ? You are already this woman. The fact that you fell does not mean that you are no longer her. The fact that you believed and hoped does not mean that you are not fierce and tough.
And the fact that you loved the bad boy does not mean that you are less of a thunderous woman. You may have lost your footing for a second but you know where you are. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise!
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