Why do men avoid relationships? Why they don’t want to commit to me? How to get him to commit?
WHAT IS COMMITMENT?
To answer these questions, we must first define what hides the word commitment.
For some people, commitment is marriage. For others, it is moving in together. And for still others, it is the decision to have children and a family.
But commitment can also mean simply knowing what you want. That is to say to decide to engage in a long and serious relationship. Unlike the relationship where you are told: ” I don’t know what I want “.
Personally, I believe that the minimum in a couple of relationship is that the two partners love each other and both want a long-term relationship together.
ARE WE COMMITTED FOR LIFE?
It seems important to me to make an aside on the commitment and on its duration. When one engages with someone, one thinks that one is committed for life. You know the phrase used in Walt Disney cartoons “They lived happily ever after and had many children”.
In real life, it’s not exactly the same story.
So today, we may very well want to be in a relationship and want to love each other for life but not succeed in our life as a couple and stop our relationship in 5, 10 or 20 years.
This goes without saying for some, but I say this because I am sometimes asked this question: “He had signed up with me. He told me he would love me all his life. Why did he leave me? “
We are not constant in our life, we are constantly changing.
Today, I want to be with my partner for life. But I can’t be sure this will be the case all my life. This is why you should never make promises for granted over time.
MARRIAGE AND COMMITMENT
I will also make a second aside in connection with the previous one because it is important, especially for women.
Here’s a little story: one of my best friends was happy as a couple and wanted to get married when her partner didn’t necessarily want to. I asked her why it was so important to her.
She told me that marriage represented a commitment on the part of her partner and that she would feel reassured and safer.
Let me be clear on this point: nothing can ever assure you a commitment for the life of your partner.
If you trust your partner, if he is sincere and if he wants to be with you today, take advantage of this beautiful story in the present without asking questions.
And if you want to get married, do it out of envy, but not out of fear of being left.
You should never act (or not act) out of fear.
WHY MEN DON’T WANT TO COMMIT?
Let us come to the first question asked at the beginning of the article: why men do not want to get involved?
We should not make generalities because it is a mistake: men want to commit as much as women if they feel ready and that they are with a person who corresponds to them.
We meet men around us every day who are in a relationship, married and have children.
So just because you know two or three men who don’t want to commit doesn’t mean that all men don’t want to commit.
WHY HE DON’T WANT TO COMMIT TO ME?
However, the second question asked is more interesting: why do men not want to engage with me?
If you chain the short stories without succeeding in going further, it is necessary to analyze the situation in order to understand if it is pure chance or if it is your choices or attitudes which cause this situation.
Here are some possible reasons for this:
- You choose partners who do not suit you: it therefore works in the short term but you cannot build a real connection with them.
- You choose partners who don’t want the same thing as you: they want a short story and you want a long story. You physically like them, they sleep with you but don’t want to go any further.
- You play a role at the start of the relationship to please or not to displease: it works at the very beginning of the relationship but not in the medium or long term.
- You want a serious relationship so much that you put pressure from the start of the relationship to make it go quickly: the partners flee the pressure and leave you quickly.
- You are in need and / or in emotional dependence: in the short term, your partners appreciate all the love that you give them but quickly feel suffocating pressure and leave you.
As you can see, we quickly find a cause for the failure of our early relationships. You just have to do a job of introspection and questioning.
Also, keep in mind that it sometimes takes many meetings that do not work before finding a partner with whom we will have a great long-term relationship.
Also, remember that breakups are not failures but life experiences.
HOW TO GET HIM TO COMMIT?
We come to the main question of the article: How to get him to commit?
If you read the last chapter correctly, you already have part of the answer to this question.
And I’m going to give you a simple, concrete example: if you take a man who doesn’t feel ready for a long story and try to make him fold so that he engages in a long story, it won’t work.
Second example: If you are the mistress of a married man and you want him to commit when he does not want to leave his wife, you have chosen a man who was not available and you can’t convince him to do what he doesn’t want.
So there are several fundamental elements for a man to want to COMMIT with you:
- He must be available
- He must want a long-term relationship
- He must be the right person for you
- He must want the same thing as you: marriage, children, etc.
In the sentence: “how to make a man commit”, there is a notion of making someone do something against his will.
So ask yourself the question: why he doesn’t want to commit?
Communicate with your partner and try to understand him. It is only by talking and finding a common solution that you will both be happy as a couple.
Here is an example from a reader’s testimony: she was in a relationship with a man who had married and divorced 2 times. They had been together for less than a year. She wanted to marry but he was reluctant. So she was putting pressure on him.
This woman had one goal: to get married. But he had a history that no longer made him want to get married.
You should not choose a partner and make him bend to your life goal without taking into consideration his life and his history.
And one last piece of advice: if you are happy in your life without a man, if you are fulfilled and good about yourself, you will have a better chance of attracting men and making them want to engage with you.
If you are in demand and in need, if your partner feels pressure rather than serenity, he will ask himself questions. And if it arises, he will have less desire to commit.
For this reason, personal development is important in the success of your romantic relationships and in your daily well-being.
What if you could take his desire for meaningful adventure and channel it toward your relationship? Then a commitment would become a part of his sense of meaning and accomplishment.
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Thanks for reading this article. Be sure to check out the pages above for more tips on love and relationship.
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